It has become apparent, we Americans are addicted to our phones and screens! I personally have been working on this issue and am encouraging my husband to work on it as well. In my office, I have couples who come in for marriage counseling or couples counseling with the presenting problem being the phone. They complain that their partners are always on the phone and are not present in the relationship.
On New Year’s Eve we were watching the ball drop in NYC and one of the announcers stated his New Year’s resolution was to get off his phone and be more present with his children. This is a prevalent issue in our country.
If you have these issues I can tell you you aren’t alone! A significant amount of us sit down to read, pay bills, eat a meal and converse with our families only to find ourselves picking up the phone and looking at texts, or scrolling on social media. Many of us are distracted at work and studies show that our attention spans have decreased because of phones and screens. In 2004 the average adult attention span was roughly two and a half minutes. Today, the average attention span is only 45 seconds!
Current research shows we are on our phones up to 7 hours a day! That is a total of 2,555 hours a year and 25,550 hours in ten years. Is this how we want to be spending our time? If we scroll before bed, or in bed, it becomes difficult to sleep and leads to sleep issues due to the lighting of the screen. If you are one of those who scroll at night, try to put the phone and screens down at least an hour before bedtime. Notice the difference in how you fall asleep. I promise it will be easier to fall asleep.
Studies also show that too much phone exposure causes depression, anxiety, sleep problems, and relationship problems. It also increases the risk of obesity and cardiovascular issues in adults.
Adolescent Screen Addiction
Adolescents also have this issue. I see adolescents who have trouble making it through a therapy session with me without looking at their phone. And the watches! Both adolescents and adults know to put down their phones in therapy sessions with me only to keep looking at their watches when they bing!
Adolescent mental health issues are higher than ever. Many of these issues have been attributed to the pandemic. I believe one of the main contributing factors to adolescent mental health problems is the phone and social media. I see adolescents who are not able to cease checking their phone for the 50 minute sessions with me. There have been multitudinous studies in this area, all with similar results. Excessive phone use and social media consumption cause depression, anxiety, low self esteem, bullying, eating disorders, and sleep disturbance issues in our adolescents (and in us adults, too). As for all of us, I recommend adolescents put up their phones at least an hour before bed. If left alone with them, they will stay up all night scrolling and talking to friends on the phone causing school problems and attention issues during the day.
My input to parents is always to hold off social media as long as possible for children and adolescents. The age recommended by Instagram, Tick Tock and Snapchat is 13+. I believe this is too young. Middle school age is a vulnerable time for our children. Why add more factors that will cause problems?
Be Present and Connect
As I write this it is after New Years but never too late to make resolutions to better ourselves. How many of us made New Years resolutions this year? Some of the most common New Years resolutions are: improve mental health, exercise more, lose weight, eat more healthy, improve finances, and to work on relationship issues. Although I didn’t find it listed often, I want to propose we be more present and put our phones down, as our collective goal for 2024. By doing this we fulfill the top resolution of improving our mental health as well as having more time to focus on our bodies, exercise, and practice better self care. Also, leaving more time for quality relationships.
Put your phone down! Scroll on social media less! Be more present with your loved ones! Limit and monitor your children’s screen time. Remember to come to see your therapist for mental health treatment if you need it. The sooner you seek health for any of your mental health or relationship issues the sooner you will lead a healthier life.
Happy New Year, lets make it a good one!
In Kindness,
MM