Shame is when we feel badly about ourselves as individuals. We think we aren’t loveable, are unworthy, or aren’t good enough.
Our beliefs are often rooted in childhood experiences
Individuals who experience shame learned when they were children from their caretakers they were bad. When a child is mistreated by a caretaker the child believes that if the child was not a bad person the caretakers would have provided the love, care, and affection that the child needed. It is easier for the child mind to create the belief that the child is unlovable, bad, or unworthy. This is where the shame was created.
When we carry shame into adulthood, we may view situations through our wounded, child eyes. We make attempts to hide the true, bad self from others so they will not discover how unlovable, how bad, or how unworthy we really are. Attempts to hide this can be seen as manipulation, or drama to those in our lives.
There are tools to help
The good news is that guilt and shame are feelings that can be managed and changed using cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT works to change the negative thoughts about oneself to be more positive, which affects the way we feel about ourselves, reducing the shame and guilt. The result is feeling better about ourselves and feeling more positive about interacting with others.
Melissa Muller is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in St. Augustine, FL. Melissa works with families, adolescents, couples and individuals. Melissa has specializations in treating adolescents, eating disorders, trauma, and sexual addictions. In addition she enjoys working with the LGBT community. She often works with families in the crisis of divorce to make the transition as healthy as possible for both the children and the adults in the family.
Call or Contact Me for your appointment today (904) 595-6840.