Adjusting to the new normal has been a journey filled with challenges and uncertainties for many of us. From the initial shock of the virus outbreak to the gradual acceptance of a changed lifestyle, each of us has been navigating this period in our own unique way. Stories from different corners of the country illustrate the diverse experiences people are facing, from mandatory self-quarantine to adapting to remote work or coping with the anxiety of loved ones falling ill. As we continue to adjust to this crisis, it’s important to acknowledge the mental health toll it can take and to seek support when needed. In this post, I’ll share some tips and insights to help us cope with the current challenges and maintain our well-being during these unprecedented times.
Challenge and Uncertainty
I have noticed we have all gone through different stages of adjusting to the new, ever changing normal. When the virus first became a reality, people accepted and dealt with it at different levels. Some people immediately became fearful and took the advice to self-quarantine. In some states this was not a choice. My son has been quarantined, in Seattle, since March 1st! He is going stir crazy in a house with 4 roommates, not enough toilet paper, for a time not enough food, and none of them working. All five of them have lost their jobs and tomorrow is April 1st, rent is due. At this writing my son is sick with the virus. Positive vibes accepted for his healing.
My daughter is in Los Angles where they have been ordered to Stay in Place for several weeks now. Initially, she was fearful and crying. She called me and kept telling me she was scared. What could I do from almost 3,000 miles away except listen and talk to her? Not much. It is a pretty scary feeling when you can’t get to or help your kid.
One of my foster daughters is 19, with a three-month-old baby in Anchorage. Two days ago, her boyfriend beat her up, was arrested, and she was taken to a women’s shelter. The shelter has put her in a hotel for two weeks to be quarantined before she enters the shelter. She has limited food and money (Thankfully there is PayPal). She is crying to have me help get out of Alaska and to us. Another situation where I can’t mother or help my adult child as needed. As tensions build and people are stuck in their homes, we have already seen an increase in domestic violence, and it has hit close to home for me.
Having my inner circle people also in South Carolina, Chicago, Santa Fe, Atlanta, and Alaska makes my tribe spread out over the country. Looking at the map and hearing about their situations brings us close but can be stressful from so far away.
Adjusting to the new normal
As we have all progressed to living with a new normal, we have been dealing with it in or own ways. In Florida, there were not a lot of initial guidelines from our leaders. The news was mixed with what we should do and how serious this was. Some people self-quarantined while others refused to accept the virus as a real threat and flocked to the beaches. This seemed to cause issues with business owners, employees, partners, neighbors etc. Currently, people have become more accepting of the situation.
I noticed fears arising a couple weeks ago. As people began to be shut-in, I saw people watching the news 24/7 and nothing else. It was hard to adjust to this new world. I admit my schedule went wacky. Although I am working virtually, sessions were canceled due to loss of jobs, and at home I was watching too much news. I noticed one day last week four people in my orbit asked me what day it was. People were having difficulty focusing. I am usually an avid reader but was unable to read any of the books or magazines I have on my coffee table and Ipad. I was staying up later than usual and sleeping in later than usual. My dogs seemed confused as to why I was home all day! I’m still not sure if my retired husband likes me being home full time or if he misses his alone time.
This week I think people are accepting and adjusting to this crisis although people are starting to know people who are sick with the virus. People seem to know what day it is. I am getting fewer stressed calls from my LA daughter. She now calls to tell me which exercise class she took on YouTube or what she cooked that day. My son has found a store that sells single rolls of toilet paper and seemed to have enough food when he fell ill. My foster daughter is still in a hotel and not doing very well. She must deal with the thought of being on her own with baby, isolated and struggling. When (and it will) the virus dies down I will look at being able to get her to Florida if she hasn’t reunited with her boyfriend. (Sadly, it takes an average of three times for a woman in a violent relationship to successfully leave.)
As we all adjust, at different rates, to the new normal there are some things I want to suggest to help us get through this!
Mental Health Issues
We all have heard or are experiencing the anxiety and uncertainty of these times. Now that 87% of us in the country are under mandatory stay home orders, people are experiencing different emotions at different levels of severity. Many people live alone and are now completely alone. My mother lives five minutes from me and I am trying to see her a few times a day including making dinner for her every night. Over the weekend we took a long drive just to get out.
This virus has caused a loss of control for all of us. Not knowing what the future brings, who will get sick, how sick people will get, and the fear of death are challenging thoughts to deal with. A loss of control over our individual and our family’s routines and health is scary! This can lead to irritability, fear, uncertainty, anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. So, what do you do when the world feels so out of control?
Keep a Consistent Schedule
The most important thing for us all to do during this time is to keep a schedule and structure. A lot of us were wandering around in a daze during the beginning of this situation. When we began to stay home it felt so odd. Trying to get set up to work from home, losing our jobs, having family so far away and not knowing when we will ever get to see them again. This is all out of our control. I was one of these people. Trying to find a meaningful approach to this crisis is not easy.
By this time, I hope people are beginning to adjust. Having a structure and routine means trying to get to bed and wake up around the same time during the weekdays. If you have kids developing and posting a schedule for the family is a good idea. Be sure to include when to get up, chore time, exercise time, school time, family time, and bedtime.
Seek help when you need it
During this period, it’s important to recognize that feelings of depression, anxiety, and other mental health challenges may intensify. Maintain open communication with your loved ones and prioritize self-care. If you find yourself struggling to cope, don’t hesitate to seek support from me or another mental health professional.
In Kindness,
MM