The holiday season is meant to be joyful, but for many, it can be an incredibly difficult time for our mental health. Grief, stress, and complicated family dynamics can make it hard to feel the happiness we think we’re supposed to have. If you’re struggling with the loss of a loved one, dealing with challenges at home, or just feeling overwhelmed, you’re not alone. It’s okay to admit that the holidays are hard and to give yourself the grace to feel what you’re feeling. In this post, I’ll share ways to help you manage your mental health during the holidays by acknowledging those emotions, taking care of yourself, and finding small moments of comfort when everything feels heavy.
Recently, I lost my Step-Father and Father within a month of each other. There has been a lot of grieving and a lot of sadness in my family. I understand the holidays can be and will be hard for my family this year. We will surround ourselves with love and attempt to find some joy in this first holiday season without our loved ones. There are many among us who will also be sad and have a difficult time this holiday season. The loss of loved ones is one reason for this sadness, but there are also many who are suffering due to losses, injuries, sickness, poverty, war, hate crimes, dysfunctional or non-present family and a plethora of other reasons. This is always hard on our mental health.
Grieve and Recognize Your Emotions:
Stress, depression and sadness are common at this time of year. If you are feeling any of these it’s OK and healthy to recognize your feelings and attempt to manage them. It is normal to feel sadness and grief. Recognize your emotions and allow yourself to experience them. Crying is cathartic and healing. I see many people who tell me they don’t want to cry or don’t think it is OK to cry. If we weren’t made to cry why do we have tears? Go ahead and cry if you need to and then remember to care for yourself. Strong emotions rollover us and eventually dissipate. Remember this.
The stages of grief are; Denial, bargaining “if only I had”, anger, sadness, acceptance. The stages are not sequential and each stage can be revisited at any time. After a year of grief it may turn into complicated grief or depression. In this case you may want to seek out a professional mental health professional for mental health counseling.
Set Boundaries with Dysfunctional Families:
If your family is dysfunctional or negative and you have to be with them over the holidays remember, you can’t change them or control how they act. However, you can control your reactions and interactions with them. Put up your boundaries and stick to them. If someone treats you negatively create some space or find some inner peace in your reaction to them.
Don’t Isolate and Find Connection:
Although you may feel like curling into a ball and hiding from the world this will actually make you feel worse and more alone. Call a friend or family member. If you feel alone and as though you don’t have anyone to call, go to a support meeting, find somewhere to volunteer, go and listen to some live music. Studies show being with others can move us out of our negative place.
Find Some Positive Quotes or Positive Energy on The Internet:
Gather positive quotes and take pictures of them on your phone or use sticky notes to post them on your bathroom mirror. When one of my children or foster children was sad or depressed I would sneak into their bathroom and put sticky notes with positive quotes or messages to that child all over the mirror. Do this for yourself! Watch a positive individual or motivational speaker on the Internet. Listen to a positive podcast.
Take Care of Yourself and Your mental Health:
I always repeat: REMEMBER TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! This is so important. Without self-care we can’t be there for ourselves or for anyone else. Exercise, get a massage, take a bubble bath, meditate, spend time with your pets. Whatever makes you feel good and is healthy, do it! Here’s a great article from the National Council on Aging that can help you care for yourself during the holidays: https://www.ncoa.org/article/mental-health-and-the-holidays-9-tips-for-self-care/
Let Go of Negative Behaviors:
Avoid negative behaviors such as over using substances, self-mutilation or anything else that may be self-sabotaging. Work hard to replace negative behaviors with healthy ones.
Talk to a Professional:
If you have tried all these things and still feel horrible or unable to face the holiday season, talk to a professional. I am always here to help. Contact Me to schedule an appointment for mental health counseling.
Conclusion
The holidays aren’t easy for everyone, and that’s okay. It’s important to care for your mental health during the holidays by acknowledging your emotions, reaching out to others, and doing what makes you feel supported. Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary, especially during tough times. If you’ve tried everything and still feel like the season is too much to handle, it’s okay to ask for help. You don’t have to go through this alone. Remember, there’s strength in reaching out, and I’m here if you need support. Prioritize yourself this season—you deserve it.
In Kindness,
MM