A Client Perspective on The Rock Challenge

When Melissa first asked me to take a rock from her jar, one for each resentment I was holding on to, I was amused and curious. I took a total of eight rocks, one for each resentment that caused me pain, fear, anger or frustration. Each rock represented an emotion that was weighing me down, some for as many as 35 years. When she told me that I would be carrying these with me at all times, much as I had done with my resentments, I couldn’t help but think I should have taken the smaller rocks. I placed them in my thankfully large purse and left her office.

I wasn’t sure I would be able to keep them with me at all times, they were already noticeably heavy! However as the week went on I began to understand the symbolic nature of this activity and came to recognize what my emotions around my “real rocks” were doing to my ability to live a positive life.

 

I was rather surprised by how closely the symbolism of carrying these rocks with me rivaled the act of being weighed down by negative emotions. I appreciated that the rocks could cause me physical pain as I struggled with the extra weight wherever I went. I learned that they caused me embarrassment as I tried to explain to airport security why I needed to travel with eight rocks. The rocks negatively changed how I approached simple tasks as I had to constantly attend to moving and shifting the rocks to make room for items that were necessary for daily living. I found myself having to make excuses for the rocks, when other people noticed them. Mostly the rocks were a nuisance, and unnecessary to living my life—much in the same way my unhealthy negative emotions and resentments were preventing me from living a positive life.

As a result, I have been reminded several times a day that I wanted to get rid of this excess and unnecessary baggage and earnestly looked for ways I could discard them-both symbolically and realistically. I began to question my thinking about the emotional resentments in my life, and when the thinking did not result in a positive outcome, I abandoned it or changed it. I wrote letters (I did not send them) to those that may have been involved in my resentments or fears, and in some cases I began to physically discard reminders of those emotional rocks such as songs or pictures. I still have seven of the rocks, but I am always thinking about ways to rid myself of them, and as I consider how to do so, I find myself recognizing that while they once may have served a purpose in my life, they no longer do. This in and of itself feels lighter every day. Someday soon I look forward to returning all of the rocks to Melissa’s jar.