Balancing the demands of work and family life is a universal challenge, particularly for working parents. As a mother who has navigated the complexities of raising children while pursuing a career, I understand firsthand the struggle to find equilibrium. From juggling graduate school with young children to working seven days a week while managing a household, the quest for balance has been a constant journey. Join me as I share my experiences, challenges, and ultimately, the lessons learned on the path to finding a more harmonious balance between work and home life.
My story
It is difficult for all working mothers (and fathers) to find a balance between home and work. This includes me. While I was raising kids, I was first in school and then working full time. When I was in graduate school, I had young children. I was at the library, at school, or at home. The home balance was the minimal one. My son was in Kindergarten. One day he came home crying because I had forgotten it was Crazy Hat Day at school. He had been the only one without a hat because I was so focused on school that I had completely forgotten to help him with a hat. I was crushed. How could I have let something so important to him slip? I remember being in Supervision, at school, and telling my Supervisor this story while I cried. I was looking for some empathy. She looked at me and said, “I was always one of those people who was able to study, be on the phone, and breast feed at the same time”. No sympathy or empathy there. Was I the only one who struggled to find a balance as a woman and mother?
For years I worked seven days a week and was on call 2 hours a day. During this time, I also had a house full of kids. At the end of the day, after giving at work all day, I would come home and have noting left to give. All at home wanted something from me. My patience was thin, and I was always exhausted. I tried to get up early and have time to myself. I tried to exercise daily and to take care of myself. There were times I would go for a drive after work to decompress and switch gears from the day before returning home hoping this would give me energy. None of this seemed to help. I still arrived home and had no balance between home and work. Home suffered.
Finding balance later in life
I now have an empty nest and I feel more balanced. This is sad. Did I need to have an empty nest to find the balance? I asked my kids if they had sensed this when they were at home. I was told I was a good Mom who worked a lot, but they understood and felt like it helped them to develop a healthy work ethic. I sure hope this is true.
In the present I take time every morning to go for a walk or run, to go to an exercise class, to be sure I have plenty of time for self-care so I can give both at work and to all the people in my personal life. THe above photo is one I took at sunrise, this week, on my morning self-care walk. I do feel good! I do feel balanced!
Self-care is Key!
In my office I tell women who feel unbalanced to be sure to take time for self-care no matter how they fit it in. When they tell you on an airplane to put your oxygen mask on first and then assist your children what they mean is you can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first. This is very true. You will burn out and run out of steam if you are constantly giving to others and not to yourself.
May you find the balance that brings you peace and fulfillment in both your professional and personal life. Remember, small steps towards harmony can lead to significant positive changes.
In Kindness,
MM